Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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