I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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