sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
