Your dad touched me again.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
