I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
