You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
