with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
