I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
