Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
