bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
