So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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