PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize