I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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