genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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