Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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