it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
