He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
