Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i've created a new STD.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
