I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
