Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
