Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize