Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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