i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
