Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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