Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize