At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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