Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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