Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
