she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
