I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
