I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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