I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
