the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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