If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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