He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize