from now on my penis is your penis
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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