Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
