You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
