i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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