You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
