Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I am one with the molecules
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
