Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
