Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
