But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
we have officially lost it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
