the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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