Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
