I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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