shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
