So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
