Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
