If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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