the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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