I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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