She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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