he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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