I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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