This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hippo gnu deer
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
