? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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