No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
