I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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