He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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