i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
