the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
